I recently joined a number of Facebook groups concerned with Secondary Infertility and it’s like looking in a mirror online. For three years I felt so alone with my guilt and feelings of greed at wanting a second child; I had no idea my situation had a name, let alone that there was a worldwide community with other girls struggling too.
They use the same expressions, their posts ooze the same desperation and frustration and they too would move heaven and earth to either conceive or lose the longing for another child.
With each post I read, I can only think to start a reply with ‘I know how you feel…’ It’s not simply the desperate struggle with infertility, it is the complex, complicated combination of that desperation and guilt at knowing you already have a child when so many others remain childless. The story is the same over, the emotions and feelings are word for word and whilst heartbreaking, it is almost heart warming to know these girls on Facebook have each other for support.
They too talk about the innocent yet painful conversations with their children asking for siblings just as I used to have with Zac. They write about the gut wrenching pain of seeing posts from friends announcing pregnancies or visiting relatives who are popping out babies left, right and centre that I used to feel time and time again.
Social media may have its critics and Facebook might not be for everyone but I wish I’d known about these groups and those girls when I felt so alone. I wasn’t the first girl to struggle with Secondary Infertility and I certainly won’t be the last and whilst it’s an unimaginably painful situation that I wouldn’t wish on anybody else, I’m sure those girls to find comfort from the world wide web telling them that they are not alone. #youarenotalone